Beets me...

Is there anything more uncomfortable than having a doctors fingers in your bleeding asshole asking you if maybe, just maybe, you aren't bleeding but did you have beets for supper?
Let me back up, but not so far as to have that jerk up to his elbow in my bowels...
Life revolves around poop. We eat, we shit. We don't eat, we get diarrhea. We eat too much, we get bloated or farty and potentially shart our pants. We can't shit, it's a blocked poop chute. We eat things that our bodies reject, we get holes in our chutes, which means poop makes it way into other parts of your body and then you die...and when you die, you have one last poop...which you don't even know you're doing.
Get the picture?
If I'm not pooping, i'm thinking or talking about it. I like potty humour, potty mouths and cat potty stations that I barely have to touch.
I know how sickened and judgey you are being right now. Just relax, get comfortable and enjoy reading the stories. Have a laugh at my expense. Just don't laugh so hard you shit yourself.